How to Talk to Kids at Holiday Parties

Ahhhhh, it’s the annual Christmas gathering and kids are going to be there!

I remember dreading Holiday parties as a kid. Mainly because my mom made me wear itchy, festive sweaters and was like soooo embarrassing gah. And because adults usually only asked me one of two really boring questions: What do you want for Christmas? And how’s school going? When I got older they’d jazz it up with college related questions: How are applications going? Where have you been accepted? What are you going to major in?

Which let’s face it is sort of the equivalent of talking about TPS reports.

They’re boring questions kids have already been asked hundreds of times and they don’t give you any real information. No surprise you get a one word answer, shrug, or eyeroll.

Look, I don’t blame you. They are also easy, familiar questions. You were probably asked them by your Aunt Edna while you awkwardly pulled at your turtleneck too.

However, kids, just like the rest of us, want to talk about things that are important to them. So here are some questions that foster connection, build assets, and are sure to thaw even the iciest of teen.

  1. What’s the most interesting thing that’s happened to you lately?
  2. Tell me about your favorite book/movie/video game. What do you like about it? Bonus points if you then read/watch/play it with them.
  3. What’s something you’ve done this year that you feel proud of?
  4. What makes you feel happy?
  5. What do you wish adults knew about being a kid?
  6. What do adults do that you hate? What do they do that you like?
  7. What rules would you give your parents? What rules do you wish they had for you?
  8. What’s your favorite thing to do with your family?
  9. What do you like about your hometown/neighborhood? What would you change? Why?
  10. How would you like to help our world?

If you have to ask about school, try:

  1. What advice would you give younger kids about school?
  2. How did you decide where to apply to college?
  3. How should parents handle bad grades?
  4. What makes your favorite teacher your favorite teacher?

And the best question, if you’re brave enough:

  1. How can I love you better?

As always, let us know how it goes adding these to your repertoire! And comment below with your favorite questions.

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